I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
