Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
