dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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