dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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