oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
