As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
