so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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