community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
