chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
FUCK WHALES
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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