cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
im on a boat
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