I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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