Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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