just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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