Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
