i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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