i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I love having hate sex.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
