I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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