I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
