Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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