Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
