he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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