She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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