she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
