I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
