Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
