I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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