Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
