i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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