so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We need to get me chipped asap
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
