I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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