it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
