Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
His hands were made for my vagina.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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