Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
