If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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