I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
