he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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