Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
