And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
