HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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