Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
