grandma shit on top of the toilet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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