When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize