new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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