When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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