Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
