Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
