Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
