omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
worst night to have a conscience
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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