Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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