I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
