i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
