do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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