you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
