Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
