We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize