Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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