she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
