I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
