my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
