barbara walters just said penis...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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