It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
