Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
