I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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