We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
