Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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