"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
