Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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