If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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