Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
