fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
