Small penises have feelings too.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize