I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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