Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This is not my ceiling
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize