So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
