Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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