Buhtt sex?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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